College

Lunchtime today, Solihull College broke up for the standard two-week midwinter holiday. This represents the conclusion of my first full term at the college. I thought now would be an appropriate time to look lack on my decision not to stay on at my secondary school's sixth form, and go elsewhere.

Before Solihull College, I went to King Edward VI school in Aston. It is what one would describe as a good school. It's a grammar school, and on the league tables, well, see for yourself. It's over half a decade ago now, but I remember feeling more or less ecstatic when I got the news that I had been accepted. As I said, this is over five years ago, so I don't know how accurate these memories are.

Clearly, the initial appeal didn't last. Over my five years there, I slowly became more and more unhappy. I was taking a sizeable amount of time off in the latter end of year eleven, made more conspicuous because my prior attendance was quite good. At the end of year eleven, the idea occurred to me, prompted by my mother - if you're so unhappy, why not just go somewhere else?

And I was initially skeptical. Yeah right, I thought, as if. I felt somehow compelled to stay because of the prestige attached to the institution. And then I realised that leaving might actually be a good idea.

So I did.

Just this week, I think I've finally pinpointed exactly what it was that made me so unhappy about KE Aston. To me, it felt like an enclave closed off from the world. Not unlike a cult (though I'm not trying to compare my secondary school to a cult), I felt as though I wasn't actually living in the world. I felt as though I was living in a little bubble parked a short distance above it. It made me feel dependent, and, as I got closer to the time when I would leave, I felt like I wouldn't be able to cope if I actually did.

In hindsight, I definitely made a good decision leaving. I feel like I'm in the world. Yes, the teaching at Solihull College may not quite be up to the standards of KE Aston, and the students may not all be Oxford/Cambridge candidates, but Solihull College feels real to me.

I'm certain that, in the final analysis, I will made the best decision. I'm still hammering along with mainly A grades, and I've made more friends in one term here than I ever had in five years at KE Aston.